


Dearest

by lavvyan



Series: Dearest [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-27
Updated: 2009-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-05 07:32:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavvyan/pseuds/lavvyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>04-877-57-7G was sixteen when he was finally transferred to his owner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dearest

_ In the year 10073 After the Exodus, humans are the dominant race on Earth. The remaining descendants of the Lanteans are kept as pets, carefully bred to keep the gene alive that is needed to operate their ancestors' machines, their beautiful cities. Once a pet is fully mature, he or she is assigned to an owner; a person they are programmed to love and obey until they die. _

It is a system that has worked for centuries, never disputed. Each child to be born with the Ancient gene is taken from its pet parents to be trained and fitted with the neural mediator that will keep it docile. It is the way things are, the way things always have been since the Lanteans lost the War, and no free citizen ever voices any doubt because no one cares.

No one cares.

~~~

04-877-57-7G was sixteen when he was finally transferred to his owner. All his friends had left months ago, making him an outcast by age alone.

The owner wasn't much older than him. He was said to be very smart and knowledgeable. He gave 04-877-57-7G a room with a real bed and a small desk and a wardrobe filled with clothes. His name was Dr. Rodney McKay, and 04-877-57-7G addressed him only with adoration, loving him with all his heart.

Dr. Rodney McKay wouldn't have it.

"Cut that out, will you?"

04-877-57-7G complied, nervously pressing his lips together as he mutely tried to memorise each of his owner's features. So he wasn't allowed to tell Dr. Rodney McKay how dear he was, but he would still worship his blue eyes, his long lashes, his unique mouth, his blond curls, his broad shoulders, his-

"And stop staring at me like that."

"But I can't help it," 04-877-57-7G protested feebly, torn between love and obedience. His head was aching, and his owner looked him up and down with a long-suffering sigh.

"All right, why do you love me?" he demanded.

"Because you are precious," 04-877-57-7G answered without hesitation.

"Why?"

"Because…" 04-877-57-7G searched for a reason and finally had to give up, "because you _are._"

"Are you even listening to yourself? You don't know a thing about me." Dr. Rodney McKay turned away, and 04-877-57-7G curled up on the floor in front of the bed that suddenly didn't seem so great anymore.

He didn't know why he loved Dr. Rodney McKay, only that he did. So why didn't Dr. Rodney McKay love him back?

~~~

"You always say the truth."

"Excuse me?" Dr. Rodney McKay was so puzzled that he even looked up from his meal, and 04-877-57-7G rushed on before he lost his nerve under the scrutiny.

"You always say the truth. That makes you precious, because not many people do." He'd spent days trying to find reasons for his love, and this was the one he liked the most. Dr. Rodney McKay's truths were always reliable. There hadn't been many reliable things in 04-877-57-7G's life up until now.

Dr. Rodney McKay leaned back on his chair, crossing his arms as he regarded 04-877-57-7G with a curiosity that seemed to be holding a challenge. "What else?"

"You're smarter than everyone," 04-877-57-7G said quickly, "and you gave me a bed and clothes and something to do, and you hired teachers to educate me so I'll be helpful to you, Dr. Rodney McKay. And you're good-looking, and generous when you think no one will notice, and-"

"Yes, yes, that's enough," Dr. Rodney McKay interrupted him, and the pet snapped his mouth shut despite his list being a lot longer still. His owner stood up and walked over to one of the large windows that overlooked the gardens, looking outside. "Smarter than everyone, hm?"

"Yes, Dr. Rodney McKay." It was true, 04-877-57-7G thought with a smile, his owner was a genius. Everyone knew that.

"You can call me Rodney," Dr. Rodney McKay said abruptly, his back still to 04-877-57-7G. The pet preened quietly, careful not to disturb Dr.- not to disturb Rodney's thoughts as his owner kept gazing out of the window.

He'd make Rodney love him yet.

~~~

04-877-57-7G had been with Rodney for almost a year when he first met Specialist Ronon Dex from Sateda. Specialist Ronon Dex was taller than him although he looked younger, with tanned skin and long hair that was hanging from his head in strange curls, and he knew Rodney from when they both had been mere children. Rodney had spent three years in Atlantis, which was in the Pegasus galaxy and far away from Babel where they now lived, and he and Ronon had become friends.

Atlantis was an outpost, 04-877-57-7G knew as much. It was the only city of the Lanteans left in Pegasus and had become an intergalactic market place ever since the humans had defeated the Wraith, which had been many years ago. Rodney said that Atlantis was also the only city of the Lanteans that was still fit to fly. 04-877-57-7G thought it might be fun to fly.

"Thought you didn't want to get one of those," Ronon said, and it took 04-877-57-7G a moment to realise that the tall boy was talking about him.

"Father made me," Rodney replied sullenly, and 04-877-57-7G looked away, feeling a little sick. He hadn't known that.

"He got a name?"

"04-877-57-7G."

"A real name, McKay."

Rodney sputtered. "What? What would he need a real name for?"

Yes, what would 04-877-57-7G need a real name for? He was an unwanted possession. Dimly, 04-877-57-7G was aware that he was sulking and that Rodney probably wouldn't like that, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Not unless Rodney told him to stop it, and Rodney probably wouldn't even notice.

"Gonna call him a number for the rest of his life?"

Rodney was silent for a moment, before he let out an impatient huff. "All right, fine. His name is… John."

04-877-57-7G's head swivelled around to stare open-mouthed at his owner. "I… really?" he asked, not daring to believe his luck. Never mind that he hadn't even wanted a name before Ronon Dex had mentioned it.

"'John'?" Ronon Dex asked with a raised eyebrow, and Rodney crossed his arms.

"Shut up, it's a great name. John loves his name. John, tell him you love your name."

"I love my name," John parroted obediently, earning himself a hurriedly suppressed smile from his owner and an eye-roll from Dex.

But it was true, he thought excitedly. He had a room and a bed and a name and an owner, and he loved all of them.

Rodney best of all.

~~~

_ For one particular company, the year 10078 A.E. is a turbulent one. The McKay corporation loses its founder to a quick and sudden illness, and stock prices fall when his young son takes over. But Rodney McKay proves himself to be a genius not only in matters of science, and within months the company flourishes like it has never before, growing into new branches like it was meant to be._

~~~

It was spring outside, the sun shining strong and bright from a clear blue sky, its rays reflecting on the smooth walls of the city outside. John had no eye for it. He was working.

A lot of money had been paid for John's education – to make him useful for work, Rodney had claimed – and he tried to be worth it. He'd never been very interested in physics, much to Rodney's disappointment, but maths and engineering were just his thing. Rodney's father had died a few months back, only two days before Rodney's 21st birthday, and when Rodney had taken over the company he'd given John a small job in a research lab. It wasn't much and John certainly didn't earn any money – he was a pet, after all – but he had something to do and he loved it. Working with the Lantean technology was interesting, and Rodney liked it when John discovered something new, or helped him with his studies. Humans had never quite found out how the mental component to most Lantean technology worked and how to get around it.

If John could figure it out, maybe he'd be as precious to Rodney as Rodney was to him. He smiled wistfully at the thought.

"What are you smiling at?"

John looked up to find Rodney standing in the doorway, watching him with curiosity.

"I was thinking of you," he answered honestly. Rodney rolled his eyes, but didn't bother to hide the pleased smile. John's heart started to beat faster. Rodney had stopped pushing him away some time ago, and while John didn't delude himself into believing that he'd ever be loved, he couldn't entirely suppress that wish. That hope.

At least he knew that Rodney liked him. That meant a lot.

"Do you want to perhaps think of lunch instead?" Rodney wanted to know and John shrugged, pretending he didn't care.

"Sure."

On the way out of the lab, he nudged Rodney's shoulder with his own. Rodney nudged him back.

~~~

"You have grown," Teyla Emmagan told Rodney as she pulled him into a strange kind of hug that involved putting her hands on Rodney's shoulder and pressing their foreheads together. "I recall a time when I was larger than you."

"You forced me to eat tuttleroot soup," Rodney complained, but John could see that his heart wasn't in it. From Teyla Emmagan's smile, she knew that, too.

"It was good for you," she said calmly. Rodney pulled a face, and John grinned.

He didn't know what Teyla Emmagan was doing on Earth, but he knew that she was from Athos, another planet in the Pegasus galaxy. She had also brought greetings from Specialist Ronon Dex, so it was easy to guess that they all had known each other when they were kids.

John wasn't entirely sure if he liked her. She seemed nice enough, except that she seemed way too familiar with Rodney and his quirks. Specialist Ronon Dex had been friends with Rodney, too, but he'd seemed more amused by Rodney than anything and Rodney had snapped at him the entire time he'd been visiting. In a friendly way. Teyla Emmagan, though… she honestly seemed to like Rodney, and he liked her back. It was… unsettling.

For the first time in his life, John was jealous. He didn't like the feeling.

"This, uh, this is John," Rodney said, awkwardly changing the subject. John dutifully held out his hand, and Teyla Emmagan took it. Her grip was firm and her eyes knowing.

"I can see that he is very dear to you," she teased, and Rodney actually blushed.

"The dearest," John answered solemnly, biting back a grin as Rodney glared at him, blush still deepening. Teyla Emmagan laughed.

Maybe she was all right, after all.

"Stop flirting with him. He's mine," Rodney snapped. His eyes grew wide when he realised how that had sounded and he back-pedalled quickly. "I mean, uh-"

"I am," John said, his eyes never leaving Rodney's face. Rodney stared at him for a moment, then he ducked his head and smiled.

John didn't smile, but he wanted to hug the whole world.

~~~

"Come on, Rodney, tell me," John wheedled, but Rodney shook his head.

"No. You'll have to wait until tomorrow, just like everybody else."

"You have to be the most stubborn guy on Earth."

Rodney huffed out a breath. "That makes me special, right?"

"Precious," John answered with a grin, and kissed him. Maybe it would distract Rodney from whatever was making him so nervous.

John had done his best to find out what was eating at Rodney, but to no avail. All he knew was that something would happen tomorrow, and that it would be big. Of course, for Rodney, the opening of a new Galaxybucks was big, so his great secret could be anything, really.

By now, Rodney had started wringing his hands, so John grabbed his wrists and dragged him off to the bedroom. Rodney followed willingly enough, and that more than anything told John how nervous he truly was. For whatever reason, Rodney didn't allow them to play around very often, making every chance to take care of him even more… well, precious.

John loved it when he got to kiss Rodney – really kiss Rodney, not just a quick peck on the lips – and he took the opportunity to do it now, to make Rodney moan and shiver and surrender and never even notice that John had him half undressed before they were even fully in the bedroom. Rodney's eyes were dark and pleading when he let John push him down on the bed, his body arching, his hands greedy as they roamed across John's back. John never knew what he was asking for in these moments, but he hoped that he could give it. At the very least he could try, and he did, telling Rodney how much he was loved, telling it with his kisses and his body and with the way he held Rodney as they both came.

Rodney tugged at him afterwards and John complied, scooting closer and letting Rodney curl up around him.

"I love you," he mumbled drowsily and smiled as he felt Rodney's hand card through his hair, disentangling the strands.

"Tell me that again tomorrow night, and I will tell you a secret."

John let out a sleepy murmur that was meant to be an agreement and closed his eyes.

Rodney's secret could wait another day.

~~~

_ The first day of October in the year 10081 A.E. starts what will later be known as the Lantean Outbreak. An artificially engineered retrovirus is released into drinking water supplies worldwide, targeting a small but significant part of the human genome. All over the world, recessive Lantean genes are activated, enabling their shocked bearers to interact with the technology of their distant ancestors. Though it is never found out where the retrovirus came from, its effects are devastating._

Automated systems recognise free gene bearers and activate to subdue them. Parents protest as already cleared children are taken away from them after medical units report them to be pets. Anger spreads across the world, and by early afternoon, desperate officials have reached the only decision they can.

With seventy-eight percent of the population able to operate Lantean technology, the pet program is declared suspended until further notice. The neural mediators and their enforcing routines are switched off.

The result is chaos.

~~~

For John, it felt like being slugged directly in the brain. One moment, he was slouching with forced casualness on a chair and worriedly watching Rodney's nervous pacing, the next he jerked upright and clutched his head as pain shot right through his skull. Dimly, he heard Rodney shout his name, but didn't care as some essential part of him seemed to shrivel and die, screaming as it went. John – 04-877-57-7G – _John_ crashed to the floor and curled up, sobbing, moaning as the pain became so great he thought that his head might just pop open.

Then, as suddenly as it had come, the pain went away.

John lay on the floor, breathing harshly, trying to get his trembling limbs under control. He was… he felt weird, kind of dizzy like he'd just woken up. Rodney's hand touched his shoulder and he jerked away. "Don't."

He got to his knees, then stood up shakily, stumbling away when Rodney got up as well and reached out to steady him.

"Don't touch me."

Rodney swallowed and raised his chin. "Guess I'm not so precious anymore then." His voice sounded thick and a little raspy.

John blinked at the guy he'd adored for seven years. He saw a gangly young man, shoulders too broad for his slim frame, blond hair too long, blue eyes too huge in his face, and a mouth that was permanently turned down at one corner. He'd seen beauty there, he knew it, but somehow he couldn't find it again. All he could see was… some guy. Just some guy who'd thought he could own another human, and John couldn't believe how badly he'd wanted to be with Rodney, because Rodney wasn't special at all.

"No. No, you really aren't."

He turned and let his unsteady feet carry him out of the room. Rodney didn't stop him.

Fuck him and his secret, anyway.

~~~

Finding a job turned out easier for John than for most other former pets. Liberated, they called themselves, but John thought that Abandoned would have been more fitting.

Thanks to Rodney – and how he resented owing him even that much – he knew how to operate and maintain most of the basic Lantean systems, and he'd had an education that put him on par with anyone holding a Masters in engineering, even if he himself didn't hold a degree. He had no references at first, but someone was always willing to hire him, and he drifted from employer to employer and made a name for himself as someone who could be relied on if things were going down. He just couldn't be relied on to stay when things went well.

Three years after walking out on his owner – all that devotion, all that time wasted, and it still stung – John was working for a small, budding company that specialised in Lantean underwater craft. He'd helped them design several improvements, shamelessly using some of Rodney's old ideas, when the door to his overly pretentious office opened and a man stepped in. He looked vaguely familiar. It took John a moment to place him, but then he remembered.

"Dex" he drawled, lazily kicking back his chair and resting his feet on his desk.

"Sheppard," Ronon nodded at the name plate. "Nice last name."

"Made it up myself," John said, slouching even further. So what, he had issues with authority figures. "What do you want?"

"Got a ship," Dex said, "need someone to maintain it."

"And you're asking me."

Dex shrugged. "Rodney said you were good," he said bluntly. That got John to his feet.

"I want nothing to do with-" he started hotly, but Dex interrupted him.

"This has nothing to do with McKay. I need someone who's good. He says you are. End of story." He shrugged.

John snorted. "And why would I want to go with you? I'm guessing your ship is back in Pegasus."

"Teyla and I have a trading company in Atlantis." Dex shifted, looking John straight in the eyes. "No one cares where you're from in Atlantis."

John went with him.

~~~

_ In the year 10089 A.E., Earth comes into contact with the few survivors of an alien race called the Asgard. The Asgard come in great, broken ships to seek the help of the Lanteans. But the Lanteans are gone, so instead they ask their successors, the humans, for their assistance in a desperate fight against a terrible menace. _

The government of Earth, in what might be altruism or the wish to get their hands on new technology, agrees, and an expedition to the Asgard homeworld is sent. Its members are among Earth's best and brightest and they are told to learn whatever the Asgard are willing to share. They are accompanied by two Lantean battleships, the Orion_ and the _Aurora_. These, the humans figure, will be enough to do away with whatever threat the small, fragile Asgard are running from._

They are wrong.

~~~

Dr. Weir tucked a strand of hair behind one ear. That was the third time in five minutes, and it was distracting. "He was a member of the Othala expedition. As you might know, the contact was lost several months ago. Yesterday, the expedition members' status was officially changed from presumed missing to presumed dead." She paused. "Dr. McKay has left you everything he owned."

John sank back in the plush chair, staring at the lawyer. When Dr. Weir had contacted him and asked him to come back to Earth, he'd thought that maybe someone was finally going to sue him for stealing parts of their space ship and using them for his own. He and Ronon kind of did that a lot, although Teyla didn't like it. They'd never been caught by anyone but her, but John figured that every lucky streak had to end some time. So yeah, lawyer plus Earth equalled bad news, but he'd never anticipated something like this.

Rodney was dead. John didn't know what to make of that news. He hadn't really thought much about Rodney; hadn't wanted to. Teyla and Ronon, Gods bless them, had never talked about him, even though he knew they both had visited him every now and then. And now Rodney was dead, leaving John to inherit what he knew was an almost obscenely well-going business.

At some point during the last eight years, John had made his peace with the past. Rodney had, underneath all his arrogance and bluster, been a decent guy. Maybe this was his way of saying sorry. It would never be enough, but John could appreciate the gesture.

"Do you accept the inheritance?" Weir wanted to know, pushing a data tablet across the desk for him to sign. John nodded.

"I accept."

~~~

'Everything Rodney owned' included a now busted private genetics research institute he'd bought about three years before the Liberation. John figured the least he could do was to give back the land the institute was built on to the original owner, except the original owner had died a few months back, leaving everything to his former pet, a man named Carson Beckett. A coincidence that was almost poetic, so John set up a meeting to get the formalities over and done with. He decided that the first of October would be a nice date to do so; after all, that had been the day when genetics had set him free.

The return of property didn't exactly go as he'd imagined, though.

"You're John," was the first thing Beckett said when he saw him in front of the institute gates, "I did not make the connection from the name, but I recognise your face. You're older, though I suppose you'd be."

"Recognise me from where?" John asked, taken aback. He could have sworn he'd never seen that guy before in his life, and he didn't think he'd mentioned his first name. Beckett might have been raised in the same compound, but then how would he know the name instead of the number? John almost wished he'd brought his gun, stupid though the thought was that it might ground him.

"Your picture. Rodney used to carry it around. Talked about you quite a bit as well, the poor lad."

_Rodney_? How the hell would someone else's pet know Rodney? Beckett's owner had been a geneticist; not exactly the kind of person Rodney would want to mingle with. He was… had been arrogant like that.

"I... you knew Rodney?"

"Of course I did." Beckett made a sweeping gesture at the abandoned building in front of them. "Rodney financed my research. Well, Dr. Beckett's research, but I was in charge of the program."

"Rodney financed your research? I thought that he thought medicine wasn't even a science," John stuttered. This was like stepping through a quantum mirror into a bizarre side-reality. "What the hell were you researching for him?"

"Well," Beckett cleared his throat, looking left and right as if someone might be listening in. "I, um. The retrovirus. Dr. Beckett felt the pet system was an insult to human intelligence, and Rodney agreed."

"What retrovirus?"

"_The_ retrovirus," Beckett repeated with emphasis, like he thought John was stupid.

And John felt stupid. In fact, John felt like the floor had been pulled out from under his feet. It all made a strange kind of sense: Rodney's nervousness on that last day, his determination to keep his stupid secret until John... until John was free.

He was... he was free. Because Rodney had changed an entire society, for him. And John hadn't known, had walked out and never looked back, and he'd thought that his memories of Rodney couldn't hurt him anymore, but he'd been wrong, so wrong. Because if Rodney had done this for him, if the resentment John had carried for the last eight years had only been a misunderstanding, then where did that leave him?

Dazed, John asked, "But why would he do that?"

Because Rodney had liked having a pet, John knew that. He'd liked teaching John things, ordering him around, being the focus of John's love and attention; had smiled whenever John had figured out a piece of Lantean tech or solved a difficult equation. He'd... he'd just liked showing John off, owning a pet that was smarter than everyone else's.

Hadn't he?

Beckett was looking at John with something akin to pity. And John had thought that this whole situation couldn't get any worse, but Beckett's next words felt like a blow to the head.

"He loved you. Don't you know that?"

~~~

_ In the night of Liberation Day in the year 10089 A.E., one of the Liberated stands under the dark sky, looking at the barely visible clouds and imagining the stars beyond. He isn't crying, not even blinking away a burn in his eyes, but he's aching. _

"Precious," he whispers, and remembers a time when all he had was a room and a bed and a name.

And love.

**Author's Note:**

> [Download Dearest as podfic](http://community.livejournal.com/sgapodfic/94032.html)


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